Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Romance Devotional will Continue Later this Week

Hello to everyone reading online and via email/text subscription.

Our Romancing Your Spouse devotional will continue soon. I usually write a new one each day after prayer, but today, I had to attend to other business.

I have an entry to post, that came to me after prayer time, but unfortunately, I need more time to type it up for our devotional.

I hope to resume tomorrow.

Have a blessed day!

Steve Kendall

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Support Family Movies: Go See The Muppets This Weekend


Saw The Muppets with our goddaughters. A great time at the movies. Nice to finally see a G rated movie again--it was PG because of the fart jokes, but really, a G film overall. Take your family. Let Hollywood know you support movies like this. My fav song was, "Are You A Muppet or a Man?":


Good NPR interview w/Jason Segel, (How I Met Your Mother), the actor/fan who rebooted The Muppets. 

Thursday, November 24, 2011

A Blessed and Happy Thanksgiving to Everyone!

"Give thanks to the LORD Almighty,for the LORD is good; his love endures forever."
Jeremiah 33:11


Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Romancing Your Spouse-Days 21-25:Thankfulness



Romancing Your Spouse-Day 20


Topic: Thankfulness

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."
--1 Corinthians 13:4 (from the NIV: New International Version of the Bible)


Homework:
On this Thanksgiving Eve, I want you to make a written list of reasons why
you're thankful for your spouse.

When you're finished, share and discuss the list with your spouse.

Also, for the remainder of this week, and beyond, thank God several times a day for your spouse and the love you share.


We're at the half-way point in our devotional. Review our previous
blog posts and reflect upon how you handled certain situations.
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We will return next Monday:
We'll see you again on Monday. Until then,
thanks for reading this devotional and have a blessed,
safe and wonderful Thanksgiving!

--Steve Kendall

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Romancing Your Spouse-Day 20: Pride



Romancing Your Spouse-Day 20


Topic: Pride

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."
--1 Corinthians 13:4 (from the NIV: New International Version of the Bible)



Question for Reflection: Do you ever take the love of your spouse for granted?


Pride:
When I think of the passage above, "...it does not boast, it is not proud,"
I remind myself to never brag, or take the love of my spouse for granted. As we approach Thanksgiving Day, I'm especially thankful I have a wife that I'm in love with and can honor with romance.

Love is something we really shouldn't take for granted in this fallen world.

For example, last night, as I drove my wife home from work, she noticed a small sports car on my bumper. "Oh, my goodness, they're trying to go around us!" said my wife. I didn't want the driver to go around me as I could see oncoming traffic approaching.

I pulled over to the side of the narrow, two lane road, and let the extremely aggressive driver speed ahead, up a short hill and into a parking lot... turns out, the driver lives in the same building as us.

The driver quickly parked and exited the car. My wife was surprised to see that the driver was a young woman. I wasn't. I had encountered her before...

One morning a few months ago, a beautiful, sunny morning, I recall-- while leaving the parking lot, there was a nervous driver ahead of me trying to make a turn. The traffic coming down the hill was a bit heavy and I could tell the driver was nervous about making a quick turn. Instead, she waited patiently for a break in traffic.

Well, the aggressive driver behind me honked her horn and did it several times and made the nervous driver flinch. As I looked at the angry driver in my mirror, I wondered, "How could someone be so impatient this early and on such a beautiful morning?" We weren't waiting very long, but just the fact that this driver was in such a bad mood at the outset of the day was troubling to me.

Long story short, I wonder about the aggressive driver and the role love plays in her life. If someone truly loved her and provided her with romance, would she be so angry both at the beginning and end of her work day?

I told my wife I would say something to the woman about her driving the next time the opportunity presented itself.  My wise wife told me to pray about it first, which I have now done and will rely on the Holy Spirit when I see the driver again. You never know what's going on in someone's life. I get the sense this woman is troubled and may need help. For now, the Holy Spirit is directing me to ask her, "Are you okay? Do you need any help?  I've been praying for you."

Homework:
For the remainder of the week, thank God several times a day for your spouse and the love you share.
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Thanks for reading this devotional.
Please feel free to share and pass along to others.

Have a blessed day!

--Steve Kendall

Monday, November 21, 2011

Romancing Your Spouse-Day 19: Envy


"Love is patient, love is kind. Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy..." 1 Corinthians 13:4
(from the NIV: New International Version of the Bible)

Envy:
Today we'll deal with envy portion of 1 Corinthians 13:4 when it comes to romance.

Question for Reflection:
Do you rejoice in the accomplishments of your spouse, or do
you sometimes harbor envy toward what they've achieved?

The Matthew Henry Commentary has this to say about
1 Corinthians 13:4 and envy:
"If we love our neighbour we shall be so far from envying his welfare, or being displeased with it, that we shall share in it and rejoice at it. His bliss and sanctification will be an addition to ours, instead of impairing or lessening it.

Envy is the effect of ill-will. The prosperity of those to whom we wish well can never grieve us; and the mind which is bent on doing good to all can never with ill to any."

Homework:
Read the commentary above again and ask yourself, "Does envy prevent me from fully supporting my spouse?"

If the answer is "yes," then think about how you can remove these potential roadblocks in your relationship so that romance is natural
and never awkward, or forced.
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Thanks for reading this devotional.
Please feel free to share and pass along to others.

Have a blessed, wonderful start to your week!

--Steve Kendall

Friday, November 18, 2011

Romancing Your Spouse-Days 16-18: The Yoke-Continued

"Love is patient, love is kind." 1 Corinthians 13:4 
(from the NIV: New International Version of the Bible)

A Week of Kindness:
Today is day five of our kindness week. As we approach the weekend, I will continue our discussion of "The Yoke" from yesterday.

Question for Reflection:
Today, like yesterday, I'd like for you to reflect on the following passage of Scripture...
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”   Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV: New International Version of the Bible)

Bearing One Another's Burdens:
Today I want to focus on the second and third sentence of the scripture above:
  Jesus says to us, "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

This weekend, think about the whole notion of learning from Jesus when we take His yoke upon us. How can you apply that to your relationship with your spouse?

Also reflect on being "gentle and humble in heart" when it comes your romantic life. Really focus on that "humble in heart" portion. How can, or does that apply to you? 

Use this weekend to review where you are romantically with your spouse. Begin to plan the way forward in terms of what you'll continue and what you'll stop doing.

Remember, Our Time on Earth is Precious--don't waste it: 
Making the effort to be kind is so important as only God knows how much time we'll have down here until His Son, prayerfully takes us home.

Homework:
1) In addition to our ongoing assignment below (#3), invite someone to attend worship service with you and your spouse this weekend.

2) Find Scripture that you can share with your spouse. Pray about it first, then look for passages which perhaps express your love for your spouse.

3) Continue our daily assignment for the week:
Make an effort to do some little kind thing for your spouse--without spending any money. I'm not asking you to be as frugal as me. : ) I just want you to put some thought and planning into this assignment.

4) If possible, practice a random act of kindness to someone you encounter each day this week and observe how it influences both of you and the results thereof--in other words--how the act affects and effects both of you.

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Thanks for reading this devotional.
Please feel free to share and pass along to others.

Have a blessed, wonderful weekend!

--Steve Kendall

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Romancing Your Spouse: Day 15-The Yoke


"Love is patient, love is kind." 
1 Corinthians 13:4 
(from the NIV: New International Version of the Bible)
A Week of Kindness:
Today is day four of our kindness week. 

Question for Reflection:
Today, I'd like for you to reflect on the following passage of Scripture...
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”   Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV: New International Version of the Bible)

Bearing One Another's Burdens:
I like to think of the passage above, from Matthew 11 whenever my wife is tired. When she stays up late to work, I resist the temptation to ask, "What the heck are you working on until 2 a.m.?" Instead, I try to make her burden lighter by taking up more of her side of the yoke by offering gestures of kindness.

Making your spouse breakfast, or packing their lunch can ease the burden of the simple things they may not have time to do when their schedule gets hectic.

Remember, Our Time on Earth is Precious--don't waste it: 
Making the effort to be kind is so important as only God knows how much time we'll have down here until His Son, prayerfully takes us home.

Homework:
Continue our daily assignment for the week:
Make an effort to do some little kind thing for your spouse--without spending any money. I'm not asking you to be as frugal as me. : ) I just want you to put some thought and planning into this assignment.

In addition, if possible, practice a random act of kindness to someone you encounter each day this week and observe how it influences both of you and the results thereof--in other words--how the act affects and effects both of you.

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Thanks for reading this devotional.
Please feel free to share and pass along to others.

Have a blessed, kind, wonderful day!

--Steve Kendall


Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Romancing Your Spouse: Day 14--Green Light. Red Light



"Love is patient, love is kind."
1 Corinthians 13:4 (New International Version)

A Week of Kindness:
Today is day three of our kindness week. 

Question for Reflection:
What do you do, in terms of kindness, when things aren't going well with your spouse?


Perhaps one, or both of you are tired after a long day at work and your spouse becomes short-tempered over something. Those are the times when I find it best to stop myself from saying too much.

Red Light. Green Light.
I try to visualize a traffic light. I don't want to hurt the feelings of my spouse, so, to exercise kindness, I think, "Red Light. Come to a stop. Don't go forward. If you go through this light, both of you are going to collide and someone may get hurt. Just be patient and wait for it to turn Green."

Next, like any quarterback who throws the ball to the wrong team, I try to forget about the bad move on my part, get back in the game and wait for a better opportunity to show kindness to my spouse.

Simply put, sometimes, the kindest thing we can do is to do nothing and say nothing and let our spouse have some space and time to themselves.

What I wrote yesterday holds true every single day: 
Making the effort to be kind is so important as only God knows how much time we'll have down here until His Son, prayerfully takes us home.

Homework:
Continue our daily assignment for the week:
Make an effort to do some little kind thing for your spouse--without spending any money. I'm not asking you to be as frugal as me. : ) I just want you to put some thought and planning into this assignment.

In addition, if possible, practice a random act of kindness to someone you encounter each day this week and observe how it influences both of you and the results thereof--in other words--how the act affects and effects both of you.

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Thanks for reading this devotional. I feel blessed that folks take the time to read it and offer feedback to me. Please feel free to share and pass along to others.


Have a blessed, kind, wonderful day!

--Steve Kendall

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Romancing Your Spouse-Day 13: Presence & Absence:


"Love is patient, love is kind."
1 Corinthians 13:4 (New International Version)

A Week of Kindness:
Today is day two of our kindness week. 

Question for Reflection:
In terms of time spent with your spouse, how does your presence and absence impact your relationship?

I thought of this question last night while reading the liner notes of the wonderful album, "Unforgettable," by Natalie Cole. There are several pictures in the companion booklet to the CD where Natalie points out that her father was often away. She cherished those few childhood memories of time spent with her dad as he passed away when she was still young. 

Given Natalie's discussion of her father, Nat King Cole, apparently, he understood the value of maximizing every moment he spent with his family. 

Making the effort to be kind is so important as only God knows how much time we'll have down here until His Son, prayerfully takes us home.

Putting Kindness To Work:
So, how's it goin' with this whole "Random Acts of Kindness" campaign we started yesterday?

Was it difficult to find the right moment, or situation to exercise a kind gesture yesterday?

This morning, as I was throwing out some trash, a neighbor passed by, someone I've never seen before. As I entered the trash room,  I tried to make eye contact and said, "Good morning."

Perhaps he didn't hear me as he kept walking--and avoided eye contact. "Good morning!" I said cheerfully. The man seemed reluctant, but replied, "Good morning."

It's unfortunate that something as simple as "Hello" or "Good morning," has become the exception in some places, instead of a given, that your parents taught you in terms of manners. In today's fallen world, stuff like that shouldn't surprise us. 

Let's continue to be the light that draws others to Christ by 
the example we set with kindness.

Homework:
Yesterday, I asked the following of you:

Every day this week, make an effort to do some little kind thing for your spouse--without spending any money. I'm not asking you to be as frugal as me. : ) I just want you to put some thought and planning into this assignment.

In addition, if possible, practice a random act of kindness to someone you encounter each day this week and observe how it influences both of you and the results thereof--in other words--how the act affects and effects both of you.

Today, I want you to really think about the time you spend with your spouse. How can you maximize that time? If you don't spend much time together, kindness is crucial. Who wants a bunch of negative time together? 

Be in the moment with your spouse. If possible, let them do most of the talking. Don't try to solve their problems unless they ask. Sometimes, a spouse just wants to decompress and vent about their day and not have someone try to fix it when they get home.

I learned this the hard way as I would constantly offer my wife suggestions for work related problems she discussed. She told me flat out once, "Don't try to solve this. I just want to vent right now." Nuff said. I got the message and a valuable lesson about when to offer help.

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Thanks for reading this devotional. Please pass it along.

--Steve Kendall

Monday, November 14, 2011

Romancing Your Spouse-Day 12: Kindness Week Begins



"Love is patient, love is kind."
1 Corinthians 13:4 (New International Version)

A Week of Kindness:
Today we kick off our week of kindness. 

Question for Reflection:
How does unexpected kindness affect others?

Putting Kindness To Work:
Occasionally, I'll see a bumper sticker sporting the phrase made popular a few years ago, "Practice Random Acts of Kindness." 

I especially like to put kindness to work when traffic on the roads gets frantic. I'll let folks jump ahead of me and give them the right away when their car is perhaps cut off by a long line of motorists.  

By doing this, I found the surprised and thankful expression, on the fortunate driver's face, to be something that made my commute so much more pleasant and less tense.

Knowing when to spring a random act of kindness on our spouse can often be seen as a romantic gesture.

Homework:
Once again, attention to detail is key when planning what I call "spontaneous romance." Sometimes, a romantic gesture is manifested out of the moment, but so often, we need to plan these romantic flourishes in an effort to use them at the right time and in the right situation.

Every day this week, make an effort to do some little kind thing for your spouse--without spending any money. I'm not asking you to be as frugal as me. : ) I just want you to put some thought and planning into this assignment.

In addition, if possible, practice a random act of kindness to someone you encounter each day this week and observe how it influences both of you and the results thereof--in other words--how the act affects and effects both of you.

The random act of kindness need not be some grand gesture. This morning I was on an elevator with two men: one, a delivery person with a package ready to deploy, the other, shod with a tool laden work belt.

Both of their heads were bowed a bit--deep in thought about their next task. They didn't make eye contact, until the doors opened and I said, "You brothers have a blessed day." 
"You too," they replied. 

Prayerfully, they are both off to a blessed day--and the ask same for you, in Jesus' name.

Thanks for reading this devotional. Please pass it along.

--Steve Kendall

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Romancing Your Spouse-Days 10-11: Waiting


Topic for the Weekend, Days 10-11:  Waiting

"Love is patient..."
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (New International Version)

A Week of Patience:
We conclude our week of patience with a focus on the first 
three words of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8,  
"Love is patient..." (New International Version)

Question for Reflection:
Do I need to stop and wait before dealing with my spouse at times?

The Patience to Wait:
With regard to waiting, and to help me exercise patience, I often think of Psalm 21:14:

"Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD." 
(KJV, King James Version of the Bible)                            

When it comes to romancing our spouse, sometimes timing is everything. Not to stereotype, but men tend to be visual creatures who get turned on quickly by what they see. Whereas some women may prefer a slower build up to intimacy, with romantic gestures and flourishes over the course of several days.


I've learned to wait for the right time to give my wife a shoulder massage, or even a kiss on the cheek when she's at work on her computer. A well intended moment may be attempted at the wrong time. Again, timing is often everything in life. Especially when we understand that God's Time is NOT Our Time. We need to pray for Him to reveal the proper timing in what we do so--that we don't rush ahead on our on accord and mess stuff up! : )

Homework:
Think about the timing of your romantic gestures. When should you wait to do certain things? Again, it goes back to the small, attentive things: Prayer for guidance and direction. Being a good servant. Putting the needs and desires of our mate ahead of ours.

Put yourself in your spouse's romantic shoes. There are certain things you like that you wish your spouse would do for you--same applies to them. Communicate and clarify what your spouse wants from you--if you don't know for sure. Sometimes we think things should be obvious to a loved one, but often, we're just too close to see the big picture when we're standing so close to the image before us.
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Sunday's Assignment:
Same as last Sunday and every Sunday to follow for the rest of your Earthly Life : ) --attend worship service this weekend.

Whether it be the traditional Sunday morning service,
or some other form of weekend worship, such as Bible study,
GO TOGETHER and therefore, GROW TOGETHER
in your relationship with Christ and with each other.

Hold hands on your way in and out of your house of worship.

If appropriate, and it feels comfortable, hold hands
during the worship service.
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Thanks for reading this devotional and
have a blessed weekend!
           --Steve Kendall

Friday, November 11, 2011

Buy From Veteran Owned Biz in Your Area


Buy from Veteran owned businesses:
http://www.buyveteran.com/


Full story from NBC News:



http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032619/

Thankful for Our Veterans

In honor of Veteran's Day, we will not post an item to our Romance Devotional today. We'll resume on Saturday.

Today, we ask that you pray for and thank our men and women who currently serve and the many veterans and their families who blessed us with their sacrifice and service.

To paraphrase General Colin Powell, "Every day is Veteran's Day. If you see a Vet, don't only thank them, do something for them. If they need a job, or a baby sitter, help them. Do what you can to help in any way."

Here's a good article about the value of Vets from last Sunday's Parade Magazine by General Powell:
http://www.sunjournal.com/news/national/2011/11/06/colin-powell-reflections-why-we-serve-veterans-day/1111242

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Romancing Your Spouse-Day 9: Servanthood

Topic for Day 9: Servanthood

"Love is patient..."
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (New International Version)

A Week of Patience:
We continue our week of patience with a focus on the first 
three words of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8,  
"Love is patient..." (New International Version)

This is the week we focus on being patient with our spouse. 

Question for Reflection:
How can I be of service to my spouse everyday--
especially with tasks I don't wanna do? 

The Patience to Serve:
Patience can often involve doing something we know
we CAN do, but DON'T feel like doing.

This may be the case with your spouse. 

Homework:
Find something you can do for your spouse to 
lighten their load today. 
I like to do things for my wife without her 
noticing so that I don't have to take credit
for it. 

Word of advice from someone who learned an
expensive lesson once--pick something that you
can't mess up.

As for my lesson in servanthood gone wrong, let's
just say that the movie version would have been
called, "Honey, I Shrank A Buncha Your Delicate
Clothes."  : )

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Have a blessed, service filled day, everybody! : )
            --Steve Kendall

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Romancing Your Spouse-Day 8: Prayer

Topic for Day 8: Prayer
"Love is patient..."
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (New International Version)

A Week of Patience:
We continue our week of patience with a focus on the first three words of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8,  
"Love is patient..." (New International Version)

This is the week we focus on being patient with our spouse. 

Question for Reflection:
How often do you pray for patience? 

Praying for Patience:
Patience is not always easy to exercise. Sometimes,
we think we can handle the smallest things in life
by ourselves. Let's be real. We can't do anything without
God's help. I thank God each morning I wake up as
I know I certainly had nothing to do with it.

To enlist God's help daily, we need to pray daily. I'm
making a greater effort to pray throughout the day, and
not just at night before going to bed, or some other designated
time.

Homework:
Patience can truly be exercised when we pray. 

Ask your spouse to pray with you today. If you haven't
prayed together before, now is a good time to get started.

It may seem awkward at first, but remember, you both are
having a conversation with God through prayer.

Pray together, not only privately, but in public situations, such as right before you start up your car. 

I really appreciate it when my wife takes time out to say a quick prayer before we drive off somewhere. I have a bad habit of not praying enough, especially before
beginning a task. I'm thankful God gave me a wonderful wife who sets a great example of patience and prayer.

Make prayer with your spouse a habit in your household--henceforth, if it isn't already.
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Have a blessed, prayer filled day, everybody! : )
            --Steve Kendall

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Romancing Your Spouse-Day 7: Being Attentive

Topic for Day 7: Being Attentive
"Love is patient..."
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (New International Version)

A Week of Patience:
We continue our week of patience with a focus on the first three words of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8,  
"Love is patient..." (New International Version)

This is the week we focus on being patient with our spouse. 

Question for Reflection:
Do you pay attention when your spouse speaks to you?

Learning to be Patient:
A large part of learning to be patient, in my opinion,
centers around putting the needs of others ahead of ours.

When it comes to our spouse, addressing their needs requires
focus and attention on our part.

Homework:
Spend this week truly focusing on what your spouse says
to you. Don't drift off and multi-task in your head (doing
a shopping list, thinking about what you're missing on TV,
etc.)

Make eye contact. Look into their eyes. Hold hands, when
appropriate to your conversation.

Last, but certainly not least--listen. You can't pay
attention if you don't listen. 


Hear what your spouse has to say
and don't reply unless
a question is asked of you.
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Have a blessed, attentive day, everybody! : )
            --Steve Kendall


Monday, November 7, 2011

Romancing Your Spouse-Day 6: Patience


Topic for Day 6: Patience
"Love is patient..."
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (New International Version)


Hope you had a blessed and happy weekend.


Thank you for reading this devotional. Please share it with others.


Before we move forward, let's review the opening days of this devotional.


Question for Reflection:
Think about how your spouse reacted to your request to date.
How did you react to their reaction? 


Let's strive to be more aware of non-verbal communication as it
relates to your spouse. One of the major concepts I remember from
a college class on interpersonal relationships is: 
"One Cannot Not Communicate."
(A theory of psychologist Paul Watzlawick)


In other words, no matter how hard we try, our emotions and reactions to others are communicated in some form. It may be through body language, or something as simple as eye contact, or the lack thereof.
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A Week of Patience:
This week we'll focus on the first three words of  
1 Corinthians 13:4-8,  "Love is patient."


This is the week we focus on being patient with our spouse. 


Have you been impatient with your spouse recently? If not,
then, skip today's devotional and God bless ya! : )


Think about why you were impatient. Let's tackle something
small first. Perhaps your spouse has a habit, or behavior you
don't like.


Here's how we'll apply patience--don't try to change
your spouse, change your reaction to their action.


Again, find something minor that you can deal
with this week.  For example,
if you become impatient when your spouse...
--doesn't pick up dirty clothes--then you pick them up
--doesn't wash, or clean the house--how 'bout you clean it this week?
etc., etc., you get the picture, pick something that shouldn't bother you about your spouse and 
change how you deal it because you're
doing this out of love and God has given
you a wonderful gift--your spouse
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Have a blessed, patient day, everybody! : )
            --Steve Kendall